Saturday, April 11, 2026

What to Do When You Have No Motivation (Especially When Everyone Is Pressuring You)

If you’re a young person dealing with pressure from school, work, or your parents, losing motivation isn’t a personal failure. It’s often a signal that something deeper is going on.

It’s that you’re tired, overwhelmed, or just don’t see the point anymore.

This blog isn’t about “just work harder.”
It’s about understanding what’s actually happening, and how to move forward without burning out.


1. First: You’re Not Broken

When you can’t focus or don’t feel like doing anything, your brain is usually protecting you.

  • Too much pressure → shutdown
  • Too many expectations → avoidance
  • Fear of failure → procrastination

It’s not laziness. It’s overload.

Before trying to “fix” yourself, try this instead:

“What am I actually feeling right now?”

Sometimes it’s stress. Sometimes it’s fear. Sometimes it’s just exhaustion.

Naming it helps you deal with it.


2. Understand Where the Pressure Is Coming From

Motivation gets complicated when it’s not coming from you.

Ask yourself:

  • Am I doing this because I want to?
  • Or because I feel like I have to?

Pressure can come from:

  • Parents who want the best for you (but don’t always understand you)
  • School systems that measure success in one way
  • Work environments that expect constant productivity

When everything feels forced, your brain naturally resists.

That resistance? It’s normal.


3. Shrink the Task (A Lot)

When you’re unmotivated, big goals feel impossible.

Instead of:

  • “I need to study for 3 hours”

Try:

  • “I’ll open my notes”
  • “I’ll do 1 question”
  • “I’ll work for 5 minutes”

That’s it.

Motivation often comes after starting, not before.


4. Stop Waiting to Feel Ready

A lot of people think:

“I’ll start when I feel motivated.”

But the truth is:

Action creates motivation. Not the other way around.

You don’t need to feel ready.
You just need to begin badly.

Messy effort > no effort.


5. Give Yourself Permission to Rest (Without Guilt)

If you’re constantly tired, pushing harder won’t fix it.

Real rest means:

  • Not thinking about what you “should” be doing
  • Not feeling guilty for taking a break
  • Actually disconnecting (even for a short time)

Burnout looks like:

  • No motivation
  • Constant fatigue
  • Feeling numb or detached

Rest isn’t a reward. It’s a requirement.


6. Redefine What “Progress” Looks Like

When you're under pressure, it feels like:

  • High grades = success
  • Productivity = worth

But real progress can look like:

  • Showing up when you didn’t want to
  • Doing 10% instead of 0%
  • Taking care of yourself

Small wins count more than you think.


7. Talk Back to the Pressure

If your thoughts sound like:

  • “I’m falling behind”
  • “I’m not good enough”
  • “Everyone else is doing better”

Pause and challenge them:

  • Says who?
  • Based on what?
  • Is that actually true?

You don’t have to believe every thought you have.


8. You’re Allowed to Want a Different Path

This is a big one.

Sometimes lack of motivation isn’t about discipline, it’s about misalignment.

Maybe:

  • You don’t care about what you’re studying
  • You feel forced into a certain career path
  • You’re trying to meet expectations that aren’t yours

It’s okay to question things.

You don’t have to have everything figured out right now.


9. If It Feels Like Too Much, You Don’t Have to Handle It Alone

Talk to someone:

  • A friend
  • A teacher you trust
  • A counsellor

You don’t need a perfect explanation.
Even saying “I feel stuck” is enough.


Final Thoughts

If you’re struggling with motivation right now, it doesn’t mean you’re failing at life.

It means something needs attention, not punishment.

You are not behind.
You are not lazy.
You are navigating pressure that’s genuinely hard.

Start small. Be kind to yourself.
And remember even a tiny step forward still counts.

If this resonated with you, you’re not alone in feeling this way. And more importantly, this phase won’t last forever.


Take care of yourself,

Mai

Monday, December 15, 2025

Where to Find a "Third Place" as a Young Person and Why is it Important

 As someone who is 23 years old, I have always thought where I could go that isn't home or work/school. A place to hang out with friends or relax in peace seems impossible to find nowadays, especially with our current economy being abnormally unlivable. Whilst private spaces are growing, it is becoming more and more difficult to form community connections and friendships. But why are third spaces important?

Third places (like cafes, parks, libraries) are crucial because they provide vital social connection, combat loneliness, foster community identity, and support mental well-being by offering accessible, informal spaces outside of home (first place) and work (second place) for relaxation, diverse interaction, and personal growth, reducing stress and building social bonds. They act as community anchors, facilitating informal conversations, creativity, and a sense of belonging beyond family and job roles.

Now that you understand the importance of a third space, I have some thoughts that could potentially help you in finding that third space. 

Third spaces can be categorised into three seperate groups: casual hangouts, activity based and interest driven. Casual spaces would be places like coffee shops, bookstores, neighborhood pubs/bars, diners and public parks. Activity-based activities on the other hand would be like dog parks, bowling alleys, arcades, community centers, gyms (especially group classes), community gardens and rec centers. Lastly, interest-driven places would be libraries, local theaters, volunteer sites, university campuses, craft stores, hobby shops (yarn, pottery). Especially because of covid-19, online niche forums, online games, group chats can also form that third space for young people.

With this information, you need to be able to find and choose your third space that works for you.

How to Find & Choose Yours

1. Reflect on Interests: What do you enjoy? (Reading, sports, nature, gaming, helping others?). 

2. Explore Your Area: Walk or bike around your neighborhood, looking for places that seem welcoming and have people interacting. 

3. Look for Social Cues: Find places where people aren't glued to screens but are chatting or doing things together (e.g., group yoga in a park, regulars at a cafe). 

4. Check for Events: See if local spots host events like workshops, live music, or markets, as these are great entry points. 

5.Start Small: Visit a park, grab a coffee, or just sit on a bench with a friend, making the space a routine. 

6. Be Open: A friend's home, a church, or even a nature trail can become a third place. 

7. Don't Get Discouraged: If one place doesn't click, try another; it might take several attempts to find the right fit.

It is more important than ever to combant isolation and keep your mental health in check, especially when things change yearly. It is important to have a community and friends to not only support your development, but your own identify. I hope what I have shared helps you in finding a third space.


Take care,

Mai

What to Do When You Have No Motivation (Especially When Everyone Is Pressuring You)

If you’re a young person dealing with pressure from school, work, or your parents, losing motivation isn’t a personal failure. It’s often a ...